January 5, 2016

The Loud Silence of Sexual Violence

Between 150 armed terrorist taking over federal land (standoff) and a 12-year-old boy playing with a toy gun in a park (murdered); between state control of female reproductive rights and gendered self-actualization; between, between, between the incessant oppressions and aggressions that seep in through cracks in the wall and hit the roof like a felled tree.

Living while black and in possession of a vagina in America is one hard-ass nut to crack. The only reason there are any black women still walking and breathing in this country is 'cause there are millions of them who are hard-ass nut crackers. Ase!

Yet, yes, from time-to-time we gets real ty-yard.

I am exhausted by the cap-flapping for Cosby, employing any sort of twisted logic to justify denial and minimization of Cosby own admissions in his signed deposition. This by patriarchal men and their female allies.

On the one hand, there is the expectation of racial loyalty because this predator is black. The penal equivalencies argument that Cosby should escape punishment because his white counterparts guilty of greater or equal offenses have not be punished is feeble-minded and exceedingly immoral.

Then there is this: The notion that 50 women could not simultaneously remain silent for 30 years concerning the sexual crimes of a single predator.

Please, post the address of your rock (digital or analog) because there is an error somewhere preventing delivery of your mail and memos. This is the only thing that explains why you have no conception of the level of silence and secrecy that attends sexual violence.

I am not going to go into excruciating detail about the domains (workplace, interpersonal, home, school, etc.) and the relationships of trust (father, brother, boss, teacher, pastor, doctor, etc.) exploited to perpetrate sexual terror.

And, to quite honest, I am not qualified to provide the kind of therapy needed to truly raise your consciousness to the level necessary to grasp the threat women are exposed to routinely.

So, for you own knowledge and curiosity, do this: Ask your mother; wife, fiance, or girlfriend; daughter; niece; and very close female friends if they have ever been raped, sexually assaulted, or molested in any way at all.

On second thought, it may be wise to invest in professional therapy before you do that. Because, if you have a good relationship with the women in your life and they feel comfortable talking with you, you should be prepared for the unexpected.

Once you have talked it out with your therapist and the women in your life, go to those women and admit the occasion(s) when you have, on a "major" or "seemingly small scale" have crossed the boundary of mutual consent.

If you cannot or will not do these things, why you go hard in the paint for people like Cosby and R. Kelly, regardless of race, should be much more clear to you now. That is, if you can be honest, at least, with yourself.

Perhaps you are a sexual violence apologist. And like slavery apologists, identification with the practice does not stop at shielding others from accountability.

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